The Biggest Losers From The Rio Olympics

Usually when you think of any Olympic Games you think of the winners of events. Our TVs show us athletes on podiums being awarded medals, we watch them running around venues celebrating their accomplishments while draped in their country's flag, and see them standing at attention, many times crying or overcome with emotion while mouthing the words of their National Anthem.

Yesterday, I wrote about the winners at the Rio Games, focusing on stories that warmed the heart. But during the Games, I also kept track of a different set of winners - those who were in contention for the dubious distinction of being dubbed the Biggest Loser of the Rio Olympics.

There were some candidates that stood out but were surpassed with every new day. The Rio organizers were heavy favorites to take the crown as the Games began, given the graft and corruption that was rampant leading up to the start of the competition. And you certainly can't mention Olympic graft and corruption without recognizing the International Olympic Committee (IOC). They were in the hunt for Biggest Loser too.

But these and other contenders were left in the dust by much more deserving contenders. And here they are, standing on the podium for Biggest Losers of the 2012 Rio Olympics.

A Bronze Medal For Biggest Loser Goes To ... The Cheaters

There are several individuals who are receiving this bronze medal for being Losers at the Rio Games. They comprise a team, if you will, of Losers. This group could have easily won the gold for being the biggest Losers of the Games but for the stupidity of others who surpassed them.

But these athletes are definitely deserving of a medal for their efforts. They are the dopers, the cheaters, the ones who aren't good enough to compete against the other athletes so they juice up, shoot up, and/or dope up in order to tilt the playing field in their favor.

Olga Zabelinskaya, Russian doper

There were quite a few of these at the Rio Games. Some thankfully didn't even make it to Rio. Before the Games began, one third of Russia’s Olympic team was barred from participation in Rio due to a government sanctioned doping program that came to light. But some Russian athletes were allowed to compete. And some did so despite having served prior bans from competition due to having been caught doping. These are among the ones on the Bronze Medal Doping Team.

One of these long time cheaters is Olga Zabelinskaya, a Russian cyclist who tested positive in 2014 for octopamine, a banned stimulant. Like every other cheater, Olga denied any wrongdoing, delaying the sanctioning process. The Russian Cycling Federation ultimately cleared her of any wrongdoing in 2015 (surprise!) which forced the UCI to appeal. Zabelinskaya cut a deal with the cycling federation that included an eighteen month suspension that expired in September 2015, which meant she was eligible to compete in the Rio Olympics. What a coincidence, just in time for the Rio Games....

Kristin Armstrong (no relation to Lance)

But on her way to a gold medal, Zabelinskaya was tripped up by a most unlikely heroine. Two-time defending Olympic champion Kristin Armstrong, a 42-year-old American who came out of retirement, was the last rider on the course with Zabelinskaya finished and in first place. At the midway point time check, Armstrong was behind Zabelinskaya's. But by the time she crossed the finish line, Armstrong had dug deep and snatched the gold medal from Zabelinskaya's dirty hands. As she crossed the finish line, Armstrong asked, "Did I win?"

Yes you did, Kristin. In more ways than one.

Yulia Efimova, Russian Doper

Zabelinskaya had some company. Russian Yulia Efimova, a swimmer who specializes in the breast stroke, is another dirty athlete who was allowed to compete. Efimova is a two-time cheater, having served a 16-month ban for using steroids in 2013 and then tested positive for meldonium in 2016.

Meldonium is a medication used to treat heart conditions. It expands the arteries thereby increasing the blood flow. Its use was rampant at the European Championships in 2015 when 13 medalists tested positive for the drug as well as athletes competing in 15 of the 21 sports. It was amazing to see how many athletes suffered from heart conditions and needed their arteries enlarged artificially... nod nod, wink wink.

The substance was banned at the beginning of 2016 and Efimova tested positive after the ban went into effect. In response to being banned from competing in Rio she claimed that she had not taken the drug after its ban. Her suspension was overturned when the World Anti-Doping Agency admitted it was unsure how long the substance stayed in the body after cessation of use. So Efimova dodged a bullet and lived to swim in Rio.

But just like Kirsten Armstrong rode in on a white stallion to deny Zabelinskaya a gold medal, American teenager Lilly King did the same to Efimova ... and in the process made no bones about the fact that Efimova was a cheater and had no business competing with clean athletes. 

Lilly King watches Yulia Efimova before her semifinal heat

After Efimova completed her swim in the 100 meter breaststroke semifinals, she waved an "I'm Number 1" index finger in the air to taunt King. King had raised her finger after her swim in a preliminary heat and Efimiva decided to tug on SuperLilly's cape by doing the same. TV cameras caught King watching Efimova making the "I'm Number 1" sign in the swimmer's waiting area. Lilly was not amused. You might say that she  gave Yulia the finger as Lilly shook her finger at the TV monitor signaling "No way Jose".

The gauntlet was thrown.  

King swam her semifinal heat and was interviewed afterwards. When asked about what had gone down in the waiting area she said, “You wave your finger No. 1, and you’ve been caught drug cheating?” King asked. “I’m not a fan.”

The next night was the showdown mano a mano in lanes right next to each other. Lilly beat Efimova in a true gold medal performance.

Aside from the Russian cheaters, there were several instances of doping violations caught during the Games. A Chinese swimmer, a Polish weightlifter and a Bulgarian steeplechaser were expelled or suspended for doping after failing drug tests at the games.

Justin Gatlin, American Doper

And in a fitting Karma-is-a-bitch moment, the U.S. came up short in their duel with Usain Bolt and the Jamaican 4X100 Meter relay team. The Jamaicans easily took gold while the U.S. appeared to have eeked out a somewhat disappointing bronze medal. But even bronze was a welcome result for Justin Gatlin and Tyson Gay who celebrated their third place finish. Then, word came down that the U.S. squad had been disqualified which meant the Americans would not receive a medal.

What's the big deal? Both Gatlin and Gay are long time cheaters and have have served suspensions for doping. In 2001, Gatlin received a two-year ban from competition after testing positive for steroids. The ban was later reduced to one year. In 2006, he received another suspension, this time for eight years (reduced to four) for again testing positive for a banned substance.

Tyson Gay (R), American Doper

In Rio, Gatlin won the silver medal in the Men's 100 meter race behind Usain Bolt. He failed to qualify for the Finals of the 200 meter race after a disappointing semifinal effort. He hoped to make up for it with a medal in the 4X100 meter relay. Not.

Gay tested positive for steroids in 2013, resulting in a one year ban from the track. It also resulted in the U.S. runners being stripped of their silver medals from the 2012 Olympics.

Coming into Rio, Gay did not have any Olympic medals despite a lengthy career that included wins in world championships and recording the world's second fastest 100 meter dash of all time. Now at the end of his career, Gay's only event was the 4X100 meter relay and his only hope for winning/keeping an Olympic medal. As if to tease Gay, fate made him think he had finally gotten his medal only to take it away moments later.

It is unimaginable that Gatlin and Gay will ever represent the U.S. in the Olympics again. Good riddance.

A Bronze Medal For Biggest Loser Goes To ... NBC Gymnastics Commentator Al Trautwig

Simone Biles knows the difference between parents and parents. There are parents who fulfill that role from a biological standpoint. But she knows it takes more than biology to make a parent.

Ron and Nelli Biles in Rio (L)

Simone and her sister were adopted in 2000 by her maternal grandparents after the girls had been placed in foster care. Simone's biological father was nowhere to be found and her mother struggled unsuccessfully with substance abuse issues.  Ron and Nellie Biles stepped up to the plate and provided the girls a loving home for their once-granddaughters, now also daughters.

“When I was younger, I was adopted by my grandparents, which are now my parents,” Biles told the media in December of 2015. “I call them Mom and Dad.”

Al Trautwig (Center)

And then along came Trautwig, on a mission to correct a record that needed no correction.

During a gymnastics broadcast, NBC televised a feel good segment about Simone and her family. In the segment, reference was made to Ron and Nellie as Simone's mother and father.

Always the ever present know-it-all, Trautwig took it upon himself to correct the reference by telling viewers that Simone, "...was raised by her grandfather and his wife and she calls them mom and dad."

A viewer who no doubt had been adopted called Trautwig out on Twitter and schooled him, telling him that Ron and Nellie were in fact Simone's "parents". Unable to deal with having anyone doubting his command of the facts, Troutwig replied with a Tweet of his own.

“They may be mom and dad but they are NOT her parents.”

The Twitter universe unleashed the Wrath From Hell on Trautwig, blasting him for his stupidity in failing to understand that biology doesn't make one a "parent" in the true sense of the word. NBC ordered Trautwig to delete his inane Tweet but it was too late. Screen shots of his remark lit up the internet. Trautwig was forced to apologize, saying that he regretted tweeting that the adoptive mother and father of an American sweetheart were not her parents.

"To set the record straight, Ron and Nellie are Simone's parents," Trautwig said.

We knew that, Al. Good to know that you finally came to realize it as well. You Mo-ron.

The Silver Medal For Biggest Loser Goes To ... Hope Solo

Have we finally seen the last of Hope Solo? We can only hope...

At any other Olympics, U.S. Women's Soccer keeper Hope Solo would have walked away with the gold medal for being the Games' biggest idiot. But luckily for her, she was outdone by someone else. She tried though. She really tried.

Zika proof Hope

Hope came into the Rio Games with a solid start towards winning the gold in a feeble attempt at humor (at least I think she was trying to be funny although with Solo you never know...). Before leaving the U.S., she posted a picture of herself online decked out in mosquito-proof garb, holding an industrial sized bottle of insect repellent, with the comment, "Not sharing this!! Get your own! #zikaproof #RoadToRio."

That enraged the entire population of Brazil including the bazillions of Brazilian soccer fans who turned out in droves to watch the soccer matches. Every time Solo touched the ball they would loudly boo her and kept it up the entire time she had possession of the ball. It obviously rattled Solo who made an uncharacteristic mistake against Columbia when the U.S. needed at least a tie to advance to the quarterfinals. A free kick from outside the box bounced in front of her and got through her legs, something that should never happen to a world class keeper. Fortunately, Solo's teamates bailed her out with a goal to tie the game.

The winning goal gets by Hope Solo during the shoot out against Sweeden

Perhaps thinking that she needed to do more to cement her gold medal attempt to be the Games biggest Loser, Hope took advantage of post-match interviews after the U.S. was upset by Sweeden in the next round, keeping the U.S. from playing for a medal for the first time in Olympic history. Instead of playing the part of the good sport, Solo called the Swedish team a bunch of cowards for their defensive style of play. She added for good measure, “The best team did not win today. I don’t think they’re going to make it very far in the tournament. I think it was very cowardly.”

Funny. The game was tied at the end of regulation and went into penalty kicks to determine the winner. By that time, it didn't matter how the game was played. It only matter how the players performed in the shootout. The U'S. needed Solo to stop Sweden's fourth goal attempt with the game on the line but she failed.  Had she done that, the U.S. would have had a chance to advance.

It was one on one with the game in Solo's hands, and it had nothing to do with Sweden's style of play in regulation. And Solo came up empty. 

Just sayin', Hope.

And The Gold Medal For Biggest Loser From The 2016 Summer Olympic Games Goes To ... Ryan Locate

I remember when I had my first beer.

Apparently, the Fab Four of Adolescent Behavior, otherwise known as U.S. swimmers Ryan Lochte, James Feigen, Jack Conger, and Gunnar Bentz, needed to rival the gang from  Animal House and create an international incident to boot. It was bad enough that they decided to party hardy until 6:00 am when nothing good ever happens, they decided to relieve themselves at a Rio gas station before making it back to the Olympic Village.

But OK, so far just a lot of immaturity and nothing to write home about.

But then Lochte and his band of idiots decided that they were going to use the gas station's bathroom, locked door be damned. So, they damaged the door. Somewhere along the way, an exterior wall poster must have offended Lochte because he decided to trash it while at least one  of the boys decided to urinate on the wall.

The owner of the gas station was not amused, told his security guards to stop the guys from leaving, and get them to pay for the damage they had caused. The boys got in the cab. The guards did what guards will do - especially in Rio where they don't play by the same rules that we have in the U.S. When the boys made it clear they were not going to stay, one of the guards unholstered his firearm, told the guys to get out of the cab, and sat them down on the curb until the police could arrive to sort things out.

An English/Portuguese speaking person intervened and translated everything for our intoxicated boys - pay a few bucks for the damage done and you can leave. If not, the cops are on the way. Through their alcohol indued stupor, the boys got the message, coughed up $30 or $40 and were allowed to leave. No harm, no foul.

Until Lochte called his mommy in the U.S. and told her that he had been robbed at gunpoint. She in turn told the press. The press then contacted Locate in Rio, naturally wanting to know how the poor boys had managed to survive the mean streets of Rio and lived through an armed robbery.

Locate was caught between a rock and a hard place. If he told the truth, his mommy would know that he had lied to her. Option B was to keep up the charade and hope that it wouldn't be a big deal.

You have to bear in mind that Lochte is a couple of fries short of a Happy Meal. Rather than think things through and realize that the press would turn the incident into the mugging of the century because it involved a decorated Olympic athlete, he doubled down. He went with the lie and rolled that snowball down the hill.

Within 24 hours, it was THE story of the Games. Lochte continued to make it worse and worse by repeating the lie to anyone who would listen. The Rio organizers and the Rio authorities had enough. Rio had taken enough hits about the Olympics, the pollution, the crime, and the Games in general. Once they dug into the circumstances, saw the security footage from the gas station, interviewed witnesses, and pieced to gather what had really happened, they seized upon the incident as a way to save face. They had the Ultimate Ugly Americans served to them on a silver platter and they made good use of it.

The security camera video footage taken  from several angles established that Lochte and his boys had actually been the perpetrators of vandalism rather than the victims of a robbery. The cab driver verified what had happened. The translator was found and he verified what had really happened. Locate's story was a big a crock of crap as the stuff found floating in Rio's nearby Bays. And the Rio police reveled in showing the world what immature, lying frat boys Locate and his boys were.

Lochte has since apologized, sort of, and while he says he takes full responsibility for his immature
actions, his apology is not a full fledged mea culpa. He has minced words and tried to split hairs while trying to curry sympathy and absolution from the American public. In my mind, not a chance. His apology was disingenuous and the product of being told that he is about to lose millions in endorsements.

Not only that, but the timing of Lochte's apology smells to high heaven. Had Lochte apologized immediately after  he was caught red handed and made it a genuine, heartfelt apology that didn't attempt to deflect blame onto anyone else but himself, he could have saved his teammates from being detained in Brazil,  subjected to a lot of uncertainty, fear, and inconvenience. Lochte was in the U.S., safe and sound, while his teammates were stuck in Brazil. It wasn't until the authorities finally released the guys a few days later that Lochte finally surfaced and "apologized".

Not only is Lochte an immature, lying, irresponsible, 32 year old mama's boy, he is the worst possible teammate one could have. Teammates look out for each other. They don't leave their friends hanging out to dry in a foreign country having to deal with a mess they did not cause.

So ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner. Ryan Lochte. The biggest Loser of the Rio Olympic Games. Take bow, Ryan. You deserve it...and everything that goes with your stupidity.